Secret Lives of Women TV Segment Reveals International Dating from the Foreign Women’s Perspective

Before a single interview was filmed, WeTV’s editors decided to create a segment they would call “Mail Order Brides”. But what does that mean?

Men who traveled overseas to meet women have often been chided with, “What are you doing – trying to find a mail order bride?” Yet people with any common sense understand that you can’t order a human being through the mail. How is it that this 150-year-old phrase still remains a part of western culture vocabulary?

It may be acceptable to criticize men for going overseas to find love, but what happens when a women’s television network does a show featuring the foreign women’s stories? A drastically different perspective unfolds.

As millions of TV’s viewers were glued to their screens on Tuesday night, many watched WeTV’s “Secret Lives of Women” and heard things they had never considered before. A clear case was made that women from other countries have valid and intelligent reasons for looking abroad.

“With over 3 ½ million more women than men in the Ukraine, women are looking elsewhere to find love”, said the female commentator.

You can view two trailers from this episode at: www.YouTube.com/iDatingforMen

“Men in Ukraine aren’t bad here. There are good men, but they aren’t looking for long term relationships”, said, Anna, a 21-year old woman now married to Mark, a man from Sacramento, California.

That appeared to be the common theme. Men have too many choices overseas and have less motivation to settle down. So what do these women do to find family-oriented men? They sign up with “Marriage agencies” in hopes that they can help them connect with good foreign men through this form of international dating.

“Marriage agencies are popular here,” said Nastya, an 18 year old Ukrainian woman. “When women here get to interact with foreign men they are very excited. American men have made a good impression on me.”

“In my opinion, American men are smart people – intellectual people”, said another 18 year old woman names Valaria. “They seem to immediately understand what girls want.”

So how does East meet West? The agencies facilitate international dating through letter correspondence and personal meetings. In this segment, crews followed a social gathering where 200 women came to a party, but only 25 foreign men were available for introductions.

The reactions were mixed. Many women were obviously disappointed that there weren’t more men. Others experienced cultural clashes as some of the men tried to impress them with their lives in America.

“Some men wanted to impress me. They’d show me pictures and say look at my house or my car. I don’t care about houses or cars or money. If I like you, I’m going to like you”, declared Anna. “Maybe some women are after money, but I was after a husband.”

Nastya and Valaria attended the social, but weren’t approached by any of the men until right at the end. They didn’t find what they were hoping for, but said they would certainly like to try again.

WeTV says this about themselves, “Available in nearly 74 million homes, WE tv's programming offers viewers compelling perspectives on women`s lives ranging from the ordinary to the extraordinary, presented in a non-judgmental voice.”

This segment appeared to deliver on that pledge. It may very well have been the first program ever to provide such a non-judgmental voice on behalf of these women. Perhaps a new day and new tone has been set for dialog about the true story – the human story – that is international dating.

Boy Meets Girl and East Meets West - Where's the Controversy?

Everyone wants to think that they are enlightened and open minded. Everyone believes that we should bridge gaps with nations all around our global village. That is, until they hear that a friend wants to date someone from another country – then everything changes. Why?

How could something as simple as a man and woman finding each other be so maligned? If you were to tell your friends that you were going to a singles dating event in another city, there would be nothing wrong with that. But if a guy tells his family or friends that he wants to go on a singles introduction tour in another country – watch out! Here come the conformity police!

For those of us who ventured abroad to find love we have been warned that all of these women just want to take our money and get green cards. Not only are we told that these women have ill motives – our motives are brought into question as well. “What’s wrong with America?” we are asked. “You can’t find a girl in this entire country who will take you? Are you looking for something kinky?” The women overseas experience something very similar. Mothers warn their daughters of men who will love them and leave them stranded in a foreign land with no money and no way home. They are told to watch out for the slave trade and men who are looking to imprison them.

With all of that drama coming from people who haven’t dated overseas, it’s no wonder that few venture out.

But for those who do, the story of boy meets girl and east meets west is filled with adventure and joy. It is very much like Romeo and Juliet, but with a very happy ending.

I went on one of those introduction dating tours to the Ukraine and met the most incredible woman in the world, Anna Astafieva. As Anna and I celebrate three years of being together, we have come to realize that, even though we come from different cultures, we are more alike than we are different. We are more in love with each passing day and our passion for life continues to grow.

I’m grateful that I did not listen to the critics. I believe that the greatest rewards in life will always go to the risk-takers. For those who have not found their soul mate here – it may be because she is waiting overseas.

We embrace the variety this world has to offer and support the efforts of those willing to bridge cultures and countries in pursuit of love.

Mark & Anna Davis