Hey, Guys,
As you'll recall from the last blog, I told you I'd share with you the Number One Rule in Dating - and that violating this rule can turn all of your efforts upside down.
This is going to sound simple, but I will explain why it is so critical.
The Number One Rule in Dating is this: The date is your experience before it's hers.
In essence, when you ask a woman out on a date, you are giving her an invitation to join you in your experience. This also fits with her second core desire, which is this: A woman wants to be caught up into an adventure.
I don't have enough time in an email to fully develop thisthought, but this is about posture, your enjoyment, and touching on a desire in a woman's heart.
First, let's talk about why this has to be about your experience. It has to do with the Law of Radiant Attraction. The term 'radiant' has to do with an energy field. In this case, you have an energy that people want to feel. Have you ever been around someone that made you just want to be around them even more? Chances are good that they were simply having a great time doing what they were doing and everyone wants to be part of the party.
In this instance, you are the party. Imagine that you are looking forward to doing whatever you have planned for this date - and that you'd have a great time doing it by yourself or with anyone else for that matter.
Picture the kind of dynamic in this story. You have a friend tell you he just won great tickets to a hot concern from a radio station and he wants to know if you'd join him. If you couldn't go, he'd still go and probably make friends with the others around him and have stories to tell that will make you wish you had gone.
That's what the Number One Rule in Dating feels like. You are going to be doing something you enjoy and wanted to know if the woman you're talking to would like to join you. Once you have this mindset, you will enjoy your evening; even if you don't have a great connection with the woman you're out with. Your zone of good energy is not subject to being burst by anyone - and it will be radiantly attractive.
The part that makes this further attractive to the women is that too many guys make the woman the center of the date. That kind of woman worship does not take her away on an adventure. She wants to be taken away into a story that she doesn't know - one that is about your experience - one that puts you in charge of writing the epic and may have surprises for her along the way.
Does this rule sound selfish? It isn't. Dates are about creating experiences and moments of escape from the mundane. It's your magic carpet. You'll enjoy the ride with or without her. This posture helps her relax. Now she knows she doesn't have to be on guard that your only agenda may be sexual conquest. In fact, she may be the one advancing on you. Nice turn about, aye?
Next we'll talk about how to take 'your experience' and tweak it to blow her mind!
The party has just begun!
Mark "The Ambassador" Davis
International Dating for Men
Have you ever wished you had a gorgeous woman in your life who loved you for being a man and loved you with all the energy she could give? This is going to blow your mind. They are out there and waiting for you. We'll talk about the path, the pitfalls, and the rewards. We'll talk about what it means to be a man in other cultures. You'll discover love and beauty that will make you the envy of all of your friends - and she'll probably have an adorable accent too!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Formula for Creating Home Run Dates - Part 1
Hey, Guys:
I hope you're ready to receive some gold! Knowing what I'm about to tell you will take your dating game to a whole new level. I’m talking about out-of-the-ball-park-home-run dates! And these are things you can do this week with a date here at home!
In my upcoming book, "Mastering the Adventure of International Dating" I spend two chapters on understanding men and women, what they want, and how they are influenced by cultural differences.
Even though I spent nearly 15% of the book on the topic, it only scratched the surface. I'm going to try to deliver as much value as I can for you in four emails - most of these specific tips are not in the book so don't miss any of these.
Let's talk about what women want. There are three core desires in every woman's heart. Knowing these will help you be more affective in winning her heart. Her first desire is to be pursued. I'll get to the other two core desires in other emails.
The first of these deep desires of hers is to be pursued; as in fought for, worthy of extra effort, and a feeling that someone wants to get to really know her.
So what does that look like in dating? You might be wondering, "Do I have to start a fight with someone for her?" Maybe not a physical fight, but gestures to show you are mindful to protect her are golden. Think of the movie "Hitch". Remember the first date of our chubby hero in the art gallery?
There was a scene in the movie where two completely arrogant art snobs try to hold our hero and his date hostage while they dribble on about their theories and then ask him questions to make him look out of touch. In a wonderful and daring twist, he switches the subject and asks them a sports question leaving them stunned and silent. He then excuses the two of them away and they move on – laughing quietly to themselves. Brilliant.
Defending her isn't usually about fist fights, but if you protect and defend your space together, she may just feel like you went to battle for her.
Another aspect of pursuing her is trying to get to know her beyond surface chatter. Show her that she is fascinating to you and that you are curious to hear more about her world.
However, the easiest way to touch her heart is by creating dates that show you feel she is worthy of extra effort. In fact, I'm going to spend the third email this week on just that topic; so you'll have specific ideas on how to hit that date out of the park.
In closing the email today; I want to give you a simple personal example of my own to show how this can work for you.
My wife and I had finished dinner at a fantastic restaurant in a downtown San Francisco hotel. Parking was brutal in that area and I had to park in a garage three blocks down. My wife had exquisite new high heel boots on and I didn't want to put her through more pain by walking with me. I gave her instructions to wait in the center lobby and I'd simply pull up, call her on my phone when I was there, and have her meet me out front.
As I walked out and observed the entrance, I could tell that this hotel would have zero tolerance for waiting at the entrance, so I got an idea.
I would tip the doorman to work with me on a simple plan. I pulled up in front, but to a place where my wife couldn't see the car. Immediately, the doorman started toward me - thinking he was going to tell me to move on.
With a $20 in my hand, I told him that my wife was waiting in the center of the lobby. I wanted him to go up to her and say, "Mrs. Davis? Your car and husband are waiting for you out front. May I escort you to him?" I told him to also say, "It was easy to find you. Mr. Davis said to just look for the most beautiful woman in the room." He walked up to her, in his tuxedo and doorman's uniform, and executed the plan like a master.
Grand Slam. Out of the park. World Series. Home Run.
She was emotional Jello and rewarded me handsomely when we got home.
Next we'll talk about the Number One Rule of Dating that must be obeyed or the whole pursuing thing will be turned upside down. Talk to you tomorrow!
Come join the party,
Mark "The Ambassador" Davis
International Dating for Men
I hope you're ready to receive some gold! Knowing what I'm about to tell you will take your dating game to a whole new level. I’m talking about out-of-the-ball-park-home-run dates! And these are things you can do this week with a date here at home!
In my upcoming book, "Mastering the Adventure of International Dating" I spend two chapters on understanding men and women, what they want, and how they are influenced by cultural differences.
Even though I spent nearly 15% of the book on the topic, it only scratched the surface. I'm going to try to deliver as much value as I can for you in four emails - most of these specific tips are not in the book so don't miss any of these.
Let's talk about what women want. There are three core desires in every woman's heart. Knowing these will help you be more affective in winning her heart. Her first desire is to be pursued. I'll get to the other two core desires in other emails.
The first of these deep desires of hers is to be pursued; as in fought for, worthy of extra effort, and a feeling that someone wants to get to really know her.
So what does that look like in dating? You might be wondering, "Do I have to start a fight with someone for her?" Maybe not a physical fight, but gestures to show you are mindful to protect her are golden. Think of the movie "Hitch". Remember the first date of our chubby hero in the art gallery?
There was a scene in the movie where two completely arrogant art snobs try to hold our hero and his date hostage while they dribble on about their theories and then ask him questions to make him look out of touch. In a wonderful and daring twist, he switches the subject and asks them a sports question leaving them stunned and silent. He then excuses the two of them away and they move on – laughing quietly to themselves. Brilliant.
Defending her isn't usually about fist fights, but if you protect and defend your space together, she may just feel like you went to battle for her.
Another aspect of pursuing her is trying to get to know her beyond surface chatter. Show her that she is fascinating to you and that you are curious to hear more about her world.
However, the easiest way to touch her heart is by creating dates that show you feel she is worthy of extra effort. In fact, I'm going to spend the third email this week on just that topic; so you'll have specific ideas on how to hit that date out of the park.
In closing the email today; I want to give you a simple personal example of my own to show how this can work for you.
My wife and I had finished dinner at a fantastic restaurant in a downtown San Francisco hotel. Parking was brutal in that area and I had to park in a garage three blocks down. My wife had exquisite new high heel boots on and I didn't want to put her through more pain by walking with me. I gave her instructions to wait in the center lobby and I'd simply pull up, call her on my phone when I was there, and have her meet me out front.
As I walked out and observed the entrance, I could tell that this hotel would have zero tolerance for waiting at the entrance, so I got an idea.
I would tip the doorman to work with me on a simple plan. I pulled up in front, but to a place where my wife couldn't see the car. Immediately, the doorman started toward me - thinking he was going to tell me to move on.
With a $20 in my hand, I told him that my wife was waiting in the center of the lobby. I wanted him to go up to her and say, "Mrs. Davis? Your car and husband are waiting for you out front. May I escort you to him?" I told him to also say, "It was easy to find you. Mr. Davis said to just look for the most beautiful woman in the room." He walked up to her, in his tuxedo and doorman's uniform, and executed the plan like a master.
Grand Slam. Out of the park. World Series. Home Run.
She was emotional Jello and rewarded me handsomely when we got home.
Next we'll talk about the Number One Rule of Dating that must be obeyed or the whole pursuing thing will be turned upside down. Talk to you tomorrow!
Come join the party,
Mark "The Ambassador" Davis
International Dating for Men
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